Jargology

Trufflegate refers to the controvery following Lynn Hirschberg’s profile of M.I.A. in the New York Times, which at one point mentions the singer eating a Truffle-covered French Fry — one that the Times writer herself may have ordered.

New Definition: “An occurrence when an individual is recontextualized by another over a choice they did not necessarily make.”

Usage: “Now don’t you trufflegate me here, that Frappucino is not the large coffee I ordered!”

Further reading: True/Slant, Village Voice, Business Insider, Guardian, Speakeasy

BP is now trying giant shears to snip off a portion of the leaking pipe, in what must be attempt #18 to stop the oil spill in the Gulf. 

New Definition: “A metaphorical device one would use as a last-ditch effort to cut off debate in a conflict.”

Usage: “The public has brought out the giant shears over Palin’s defense of her ‘Drill, baby drill’ catch phrase.”

Further reading: Daily Intel, Talking Points Memo, SFGate

Ah, “Top Kill.” You’ve heard the term. Basically a method of cutting off the oil spill (that worked?!) by pumping mud, followed by cement, in the reverse direction of the flow of oil.

New Definition: “An aggressive, high-stakes and last-ditch solution to a problem.”

Usage: “I top killed it spamming Twitter, trying find that Ke$ha b-side.”

Further reading: Google News

A Republican running for Governor in California is proposing the state sends all untreatable pedophiles to Santa Rosa Island, an island, he says “that will be used as ‘Pedophile Island.’”

New Definition: “A beach swarming with creepy old men.”

Usage: “The Hamptons weekend went south when our beach turned into Pedophile Island.”

Further reading: LA Weekly

An international investigative committee has determined that a North Korean torpedo was indeed responsible for the sinking of a South Korean navy ship.

New Definition: “A suspicious party obviously at fault for a negative occurrence.”

Usage: “Mike, your bean burrito lunch was so obviously the North Korean torpedo at Jane’s stank-ass wine party last night.”

Further reading: Sydney Morning Herald, LA Times

Neets are young people who aren’t in education, employed, or training for a job.

New Definition: “Your laziest friend.”

Usage: “Dan’s such a neet he hasn’t set Lost to Tivo in two weeks.”

Further reading: Telegraph

A “junk shot” is BP’s latest fix for the gushing oil well. It is a mixture of golf balls, lamp wire, and other bits of trash they hope will help stop the flow.

New Definition: “A mixture of three or more seemingly random items meant to fill up a space.”

Usage: “Find all the alcohol that’s left and stir up some junk shot punch.”

Further reading: NY Times, Charlotte Observer, The Street

A Buycott is a tactic promoted by Conservative activists to support Arizona-based businesses. This is following calls for a state-wide boycott by progressives concerned with the state’s recent immigration law.

New Definition: “An event in which idiots spend their money to support a lost cause.”

Usage: “Let’s buycott Dunkin Donuts to keep America fat!”

Further reading: TPM, AZCentral, ABC15

A 45-year-old Buffalo, NY woman told President Obama, “You’re a hottie with a smokin’ little body.” She has been dubbed the Buffalo Cougar.

New Definition: “A middle-aged woman who makes over-the-top sexual comments to an authority figure.”

Usage: “Jim’s mom was acting like a Buffalo Cougar to the manager of Dunkin Donuts.”

Further reading: Animal, MSNBC, Greenbay Press Gazette

Mark Zuckerberg called early Facebook users who trusted him with their data “Dumb fucks.” The comment was revealed in a leaked IM conversation he had with a friend in 2004. 

New Definition: “Anyone who trusts anyone with anything”

Usage: “We’re dumb fucks for expecting KFC’s Double Down to be anything but a bleeding pile of salt juice.”

Further reading: The Register, SAI

A 10-year-old Dutch boy was the only survivor on a flight that crashed in Libya. He is a very lucky little Dutch boy!

New Definition: “Anyone who manages to get past a significant, or non-significant, event.”

Usage: “Felt like a 10-year old Dutch boy after being the last one through the doors on that L train this morning.”

Further reading: Gawker, National Post, Newsweek, HuffPo

Milbloggers are say-what-i-want, shoot-when-i-want bloggers focused on military policy who today released a joint statement calling for the repeal of “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell.”

New Definition: “A blogger critical of authority on a local level.”

Usage: “Ray Kelly winces at the NYC milbloggers hating on his anti-street art department-wide policy.”

Further reading: Ben Smith, NPR

A Top Hat is BP’s latest device, that functions like a plug, the oil giant is dropping on its leaking oil well in the Gulf of Mexico. 

New Definition: “A homemade plug utilized for capping stubborn leaks.”

Usage: “The urinal wouldn’t stop leaking so I used my Big League Chew to craft up a top hat and plug it.”

Further reading: MarketWatch, BusinessWeek, Globe&Mail

Bill Shock is that heart-wrenching feeling one gets upon reading a high wireless bill. The FCC’s all like, “What’s that like?”

New Definition: “The feeling one gets upon receiving any shocking financially-related report.”

Usage: “Holden was twitching with bill shock after getting the check at Rye…those Old Fashioneds sneak up on you like a fox.”

Further reading: CNET, Reuters

Going to stop using dates now in the posts. Hope that’s cool with you. It just looks uncomfortable in Twitter.